Guiding Children Successfully Educational Guides
Program 10. Languages of Love
An important part of love is figuring out what’s important to the other
person.
1. We love best when we customize our message of love to the person
receiving it.
There is no one way to show love. Messages of love should be tailored to
other’s love languages. Do you show love to different people in the ways
they prefer?
Think about your own love language. Do you prefer to be told, shown, or
touched?
How do you try to draw people into your life or "bid for connections?"
Which "bid busters" do you find yourself using? (I.e. not paying attention,
starting on a sour note, using harmful criticism, flooding, practicing a
crabby habit of mind, avoiding the conversation we need to have.) How might
you respond better to family members bids for attention?
2. There are two love languages that seem to work with everyone – taking
time to connect and being understanding.
What are some ways you can take time to connect with your child?
When your child is upset, do you listen and try to understand how he or
she feels?
3. There are some love languages that work very differently with
different people.
Do you ever feel frustrated because your efforts to show your child love
are not being appreciated? How do you respond to this? Once you realize that
maybe you are not speaking your child’s language of love how do you modify
your approach in order to show love more effectively?
4. We can learn and use the languages of love of the people in our
families.
How do others show love to you? Maybe this is a clue as to how that
individual wants to be loved.
Do you notice which language has worked with each individual?
Have you asked how they like to be loved?
For additional information, see web units at
www.arfamilies.org. Of
particular relevance to this program are:
Learning Languages of Love in Marriage;
Nothing Matters like Love;
Sending Messages of Love to Children in Their Own Language;
Showing Love by Taking Time;
Showing Love by Being Understanding;
Languages of Love: Showing;
Languages of Love: Telling; and
Languages of Love: Hugging
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