Guiding Children Successfully Educational Guides
Program 2: Guiding Children with Love and Good Sense

1. Set children up for success
Can you see ways to apply the following motto as you deal with children;
“Help them get what they want in a way you feel good about.” Can you share a
story of someone who does this by helping children get what they want while
setting sensible limits?
There are some times that are especially stressful in dealing with
children. Are there things you can do to anticipate and prevent problems at
such times? Consider each of the following points as you make your plan:
a. Understand: See the world from their perspective
b. Be careful about the rules you make
c. Notice the good
d. Re-direct with wisdom
Are there others points you would add?
2. Teach children to make good choices
What are some ways that you give children chances to make decisions that
are appropriate for their maturity? Are there additional ways you can give
children opportunities to make decisions? Can you set them up for success by
helping them with their decision-making process? (Describing choices, giving
information about options, thinking through the outcomes, etc.)
3. Respond to problems in ways that teach
Consequences and time out can be effective tools for teaching children
when used with love and good sense. Think of times you have used each of
these tools effectively or ineffectively. How can you use these tools more
effectively?
Most of us let anger or preaching get in the way of teaching. The
difference is usually kindness. Do you usually need some time after an
episode to be ready to teach? What helps you to relax and approach the child
lovingly?
For background information and additional reading, see web units at
www.arfamilies.org .
Of particular relevance to this program are:
Good Ways and Bad Ways to Use Timeouts;
Helping Children Learn to Respect Other People;
Teaching Values in Your Family;
Setting Limits;
Using Consequences to Help Children Learn;
Giving Children Choices; and
The Power of Distraction.
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