 Family
Life
Parent Guide
Helping Your Child with ADHD
Having a family member with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD)
can be a very frustrating challenge. It can leave family members feeling
exhausted, helpless, and confused.
ADHD is not caused by bad parenting or bad children. Some scientists believe
that it is caused by an area of the brain that is not active enough in
regulating the child's planning and focusing. As a result, it is difficult for
a child with ADHD to manage his or her behavior.
Unfortunately there is no simple test for determining if a child has ADHD. A
child gets bored easily, quickly loses interest in work, and seems drawn to fun,
might have ADHD. If your child has had the following symptoms for at least six
months, consider getting a professional evaluation by a doctor or psychologist
who has experience dealing with ADHD.
Impulsiveness, inattentiveness and activity far greater than children the
same age.
Other adults who have contact with your child report that the child has poor
self-control or is more active than normal.
Adults who work with your child report behavior problems.
More of your time and energy is required to manage the child than other
parents invest in children the same age.
Other children avoid your child because of excessive activity, emotion, or
aggression.
You are worn out from caring for this child.
Of course all people have some of these characteristics but when a child
consistently shows more of this behavior than classmates and shows the behavior
over a period of time, there is reason to wonder if the child may have ADHD.
The most effective treatment for ADHD has been medication. Stimulants have
been effective in helping 50% to 95% of children with ADHD. Any use of
medication should be carefully considered with a physician. Of course, in
addition to medication, there are important things that parents and teachers can
do to help a child with ADHD.
It is easy for people dealing with an child who has ADHD to become frustrated
and demand better behavior from the child. But because of the way the brain of
the child with ADHD operates, some tasks are unusually difficult for that child.
He or she does not anticipate the future very well. However, rather than
withdraw expectations from the child, parents and teachers can make consequences
for behavior more immediate, more frequent, and more noticeable.
There are many things you can do to help a child with ADHD function better.
Provide positive attention for their efforts and accomplishments. Since they
thrive on variety, you can provide new tasks and surroundings. It may also be
helpful to have bright, cheerful, stimulating educational materials. Since
children with ADHD find it difficult to wait for future rewards, offering prompt
rewards at the completion of a task may be helpful. They also work best with
close supervision and personal attention. Working side by side with your child
can not only provide that extra supervision, but can also provide time to be
together in positive ways. Instructions may need to be broken into small parts
and repeated many times as they accomplish each part. Tasks that require the
most attention should generally be done when the child is not tired.
Because of the demands of caring for a child with ADHD, other parts of your
life can suffer. Be sure to get emotional support from someone who is
understanding. Also make arrangements for vacations. Perhaps your child has
grandparents who can watch the child while you take time to recover your energy.
With the extra stresses of ADHD, it is possible for families to become
negative and reactive. Yet, with the use of sensible principles, family life can
be maintained and you can raise a happy, healthy child.
Applications
Russell Barkley has recommended 14 guides for raising children with ADHD.
Review the list below (adapted from his book) and see where you can make
improvements in the way your family deals with the child who has ADHD. (More
information about his book is listed at the end of this unit.)
- Give your child more immediate feedback and consequences
- Give your child more frequent feedback.
- Use larger and more powerful consequences.
- Use incentives before punishment.
- Break assignments into small steps.
- Provide reminders.
- Provide a reward closely connected with the task.
- Make thinking and problem solving more physical - use pictures or symbols.
- Strive for consistency.
- Act, don't yak!
- Plan ahead for problem situations.
- Remember that your child has a disability. Keep your head.
- Don't take your child's problems personally.
- Practice forgiveness.
Dr. Barkley also provides eight steps for better managing the behavior of a
child with ADHD. If you have a child with ADHD, you may benefit from studying
his suggestions. You may want to buy the book or have your local library
purchase it.
Recommended reading
Dr. Barkley's book, Taking Charge of ADHD, is the book most highly
recommended for parents of ADHD children in The Authoritative Guide to
Self-Help Resources in Mental Health (2000). It provides information for
understanding ADHD and for disputing the myths around ADHD. It also provides
many practical helps for helping a child who suffers from ADHD.
Russell A. Barkley, (2000). Taking charge of ADHD: The complete,
authoritative guide for parents. New York: Guilford Press.
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