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Human Development -
Learning and Growing: Using Your Talents
We may have assumed that we would have ourselves figured out by
the time we got to adulthood. However, our knowledge of what our talents are and
how we can best use them continues to grow through adulthood. There are things
we can do to make our journey through adulthood more productive.
We all have talents. Sometimes we admire certain people
who seem especially smart, kind, or fun. Sometimes we feel that we have no
talents. But everyone has talents. It is helpful if we know what our talents
are. Maybe you are good at fixing things. Maybe you are gentle. Maybe you are
helpful. Maybe your gifts seem like small, unimportant things; but, well used,
your talents can make a big difference for the people in your life.
Notice what things you enjoy. The things we enjoy give us
the most important clues as to what our talents are. Do you love to read, talk,
learn, be with people, draw, sing, fix things, organize, laugh, teach, help,
cook . . .. There may even be things that are difficult but bring you a lot of
satisfaction. Pay careful attention to the things you enjoy; they will teach you
about your talents.
No one has all talents. Some people may seem truly
amazing; they seem to be able to do everything. That is not possible. The person
who is superb at enthusiasm usually struggles with patience. The person who is
creative probably has difficulty with routine tasks. Our strengths are also our
weaknesses since being good at something makes us weak at its opposite. The goal
of productive adulthood is to use our talents well while managing our
weaknesses.
Sometimes we feel intimidated by certain people and their
amazing gifts. That may tell us important things about talents we wish we had or
talents we would like to develop. But every solid building must rest on a
foundation. We are wise to start by understanding and appreciating the talents
we have.
You might be surprised to know that many of the people you
admire most also feel inadequate. Many of them wish they were better at certain
things. The journey of self-discovery and productive self-acceptance lasts a
lifetime.
We find life most satisfying when we use our gifts to make
life better for people. Whatever our gifts may be, life is best when we can
use our gifts to help people. Our opportunities to use our gifts may be at work,
in community service, or in our families.
Since no one can do it all, we can work with other people to
accomplish the work that needs to be done. Rather than try to do everything
ourselves, we can invite others to work with us. Knowing our weaknesses becomes
a strength when we use that knowledge to combine our talents with other people's
talents to accomplish worthwhile goals. If we are wise, we get other people to
help us in important tasks like raising our children. For example we can get
grandparents, scoutmasters, and teachers involved in our children's lives.
Our lives are richer when we continue to discover our talents,
work cooperatively with other people who have different talents, and use our
talents to make life better.
Applications:
List some things you loved to do as a child, as a teenager, as a
young adult, and now. There are probably important differences at each stage of
growth. There are probably important similarities. See if you can discover the
common theme that hints at your talents.
Talk with a friend about the talents that he or she sees in you.
Listen carefully. A caring outsider may see us more clearly than we see
ourselves.
When you discover that you are inferior to someone in something,
turn that discovery into appreciation. Enjoy the gifts that others have even if
you do not have the same gifts. After all, no one of us has all gifts. If we try
to be good at everything, we will only become frustrated and unhappy.
Who are your heroes? What is it they do that you appreciate
most?
There are personality tests that help us understand how we are
unique. Consider the four ways (listed below) that many people are different
from each other. Some people have nearly equal amounts of the two traits, but
most of us favor one side or the other. In each of the four areas, which of the
descriptions best describe you?
Energy and people: Some people get energy by being with other
people. They like being with people much of the time. We call them extraverts.
There are other people who get energy from quiet time or being alone. We call
them introverts. Both extraverts and introverts are valuable. Extraverts can
enjoy hours of work with people. Introverts are more likely to be able to work
quietly for an extended period without social interaction. Which best describes
you?
Ways of thinking about things: Some people are dreamers. They
focus on possibilities. Some people are practical. They live in the
here-and-now. Each has advantages. Dreamers are good at inventing new
possibilities, being creative. The practical are good at seeing the immediate
needs and providing for them. Which are you?
Ways of deciding: Some people make decisions based on feelings.
Other people prefer to base their decisions on facts. Each has advantages. The
feeling types may better understand how decisions affect people. The thinking
type (those who prefer the facts) may be more objective. You can see the
advantages of considering both in making a decision. Are you more a feeling or
facts person?
Decision making: Some people like things settled. Others prefer
to wait and see. The first can be seen as outcome-oriented. The latter can be
seen as process oriented. Understanding those differences can help us better
work with each other. Which style do you favor?
Each type of personality has advantages and disadvantages. How can you use an
understanding of your unique style to be more effective? How can you use an
understanding of your limitations to better work with others in making decisions
and living life?
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