Analyze and discuss your attitudes and values about money as you determine which items are:

a. essential, must have

b. important, but not essential

c. possible, to eliminate for the sake of economy

Financial goals help you define what items and services you want to have. Goals provide a basis for making choices in how you will use your money and other resources. If you and your spouse have never written spending goals, now is a good time to start. Work to agree on goals that are based are your values. Your goals can serve as a guide to help you spend your money for things that are most important to both of you. Remember, your goals are guides. They may change after a few years.

Studies show that couples who WRITE their financial goals are more likely to achieve those goals than those who do not.

• State goals in specific terms: "We will save $10 each week."
• Specify a time frame: "In 6 months we will save $200."
• Make each attainable: "We will save $60 a month for six months to buy a television."

Working together, write your short-term and long-term spending goals below:

Spending Goals (within 6 months)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Spending Goals (within 5 years)

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

Keep in Mind:

• Goals are dreams and wishes that could come true.
• Specific goals motivate you to balance your spending and saving in order to get the most from your income.
• If you want to be effective manager of your life and finances, you need to know where you are going, how you intend to get there and when you arrive. Those insights come from your goals – your statements of what you want to achieve in life.

Allen and Rose had discussed financial planning before they married. They wanted to avoid the financial struggles they had seen in their own families. Rose's mother seemed to be the controlling one – distributing the money and paying the bills. Allen's father had dominated the handling of finances in his family. Allen believed his was a good arrangement.

The first serious quarrel occurred when Allen bought an expensive hunting jacket which Rose didn't think he needed. They both lost their tempers making comments about each other they regretted later.

Both apologized and agreed to figure out how they could reach a better understanding of financial concerns in marriage.

• Identify one of Rose's values. ____________________________________
• Identify one of Allen's values. ____________________________________
• What did they do right? _________________________________________
• What could have been done to avoid the conflict? ____________________

1. Choose words carefully. Avoid words that may be misunderstood.

2. Check your timing. Don't discuss an issue when both are tied or involved in a favorite television program, not feeling well, or under pressure with an important work assignment.

3. Watch your attitude.

4. Recognize whoever makes the money does not have the right to say how it should be spent. It should be a joint decision.

5. Stick to the issue. Avoid dragging other points into the discussion.

6. Encourage communication by beginning with "I think" or "I feel." Avoid "you always" and "you never."

7. Be willing to negotiate for a realistic settlement of differences. Both should be ready to offer a solution.

8. Give each other clues when the tension is letting up, such as a smile or gentle touch.